Wednesday, August 8, 2007

You're a Filipino if....?

1. You're related to everyone.
2. Your middle name is your mother's maiden name.
3. Your parents call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy."
4. You have uncles and aunts named "Boy," "Girlie," or "Baby."
5. You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables like "Jun-Jun", "Ling-Ling", and "Mon-Mon."
6. You call the parents of your friends and your own parents' friends "Tito" and "Tita."
7. You have four or five names.
8. You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.
9. You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave the room.
10. You follow your parents' house rules even if you are over 18.
11. You live with your parents until and at times even after you're married.
12. You make your children sing and dance to amuse your friends and relatives.
13. Your house has a distinctive aroma.
14. You decorate your living room wall with your family's framed diplomas and plaques.
15. You decorate your dining room wall with a picture of the "Last Supper."
16. You keep your furniture wrapped in plastic or covered with blankets.
17. You have a Sto. Nino shrine in your living room.
18. You keep a fly swatter in your kitchen.
19. Your kitchen table has a vinyl tablecloth.
20. You have a piano that no one plays.
21. You keep a tabo in your bathroom.
22. You own a barrel man from Baguio (Schwing!).
23. You use Vicks Vapor rub as an insect repellant.
24. You have ageless skin, thanks to the high humidity of the tropics.
25. You eat with your hands.
26. You eat more than three times a day.
27. You think a meal is not a meal without rice.
28. You use your fingers to measure the water you need to cook rice.
39. You eat your meal using a spoon and fork.
30. You cut your meat with a spoon or fork.
31. You think sandwiches are snacks, not meals.
32. You feed all your visitors.
33. You always cook too much.
34. Your dining table has a merry-go-round (lazy Susan) in the middle.
35. You bring baon to work everyday.
36. Your pantry is never without Spam, Vienna sausage, corned beef, and sardines.
37. You love to eat daing or tuyo.
38. You eat your meal with patis, toyo, suka, banana catsup, or bagoong.
39. You love sticky desserts and salty snacks.
40. You eat fried Spam and hot dogs with rice.
41. You love "dirty" ice cream.
42. You love to eat, yet often manage to stay slim.
43. You grab a toothpick after every meal.
44. When dining out, you always fight over who will pay for dinner.
45. You put hot dogs in your spaghetti.
46. Everything you eat is sauted in garlic, onion, and tomatoes.
47. You order a "soft drink" instead of soda.
48. You eat rice for breakfast.
49. You hang a rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
50. You get together with family at a cemetery on All Saint's Day to eat, drink, and tell stories by your loved ones' graves.
51. You play cards or mahjong and drink beer at funeral wakes.
52. You think Christmas season begins in October and ends in January.
53. You make the sign of the cross before take-offs and after landings and every time you pass by a church.
54. Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
55. You've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity.
56. You are standing next to eight boxes at the airport.
57. You feel obligated to give pasalubong to all your friends and relatives each time you return from a trip.
58. You can't make a purchase without haggling.
59. You use paper foot outlines when buying shoes for friends and relatives.
60. You're a fashion victim.
61. You point with your lips.
62. You can convey 30 messages with your facial expression.
63. You greet one another by raising your eyebrows or tossing your head.
64. You hold your palms together in front of you and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.
65. You scratch your head when you don't know an answer to a question.
66. You smile all the time for no reason.
67. You ask for the bill at a restaurant by making a rectangle in the air.
68. You cover your mouth when you laugh.
69. You respond to a "Hoy!" or a "Pssst!" in a crowd.
70. You'll answer "Malapit lang!"--no matter the distance--when asked how far away a place is located.
71. You prefer to Mercedes Benz as "chedeng."
72. Goldilocks is more than a fairy tale character to you.
73. You refer to power interruptions as "brownouts."
74. You love to use the following acronyms: CR for comfort room, DI for dance instructor, DOM for dirty old man, TNT for tago nang tago, KJ for kill joy, KSP for kulang sa pansin, OA for over-acting, TL for true love, BF for boyfriend and GF for girlfriend.
75. You're always late for events and parties.
76. You say "rubber shoes" instead of sneakers, "ball pen" instead of pen, "stockings" in stead of pantyhose, "pampers" instead of diapers, "ref" or "prijider" instead of refrigerator, "Colgate" instead of toothpaste, "canteen" instead of cafeteria, and "open" or "close" instead of turn on or turn off (as in the lights).
77. You always leave your shoes or slippers outside the doorstep.
78. You use an umbrella for shade on hot summer days.
79. You prefer sitting in the shade instead of basking in the sun.
80. You can sing and dance at a drop of a hat.
81. You like everything imported or "state-side."
82. You hang your clothes out to dry in a laundry line.
99. You let the phone ring twice before answering, lest you appear overly eager.

No comments: